I seriously love jokes. I love laughing till my abs kill and I'm crying and have to pee. Family dinner tonight was like that :) Laughing makes you stronger and healthier and live longer, and this way I can keep track of my favorite jokes for future benefit. Hehe
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
"Have you heard of the movie Constipated?" "No..." "It hasn't come out yet." (Sorry gross :p)
Knock-knock. Who's there? To. To who? No, it's to whom!
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll hang around here.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? Ruth-less
Why didn't Noah go fishing? He only had 2 worms.
What kind of motor vehicles were used in the Bible? A Honda, because the Apostles were all in one Accord.
Tennis is mentioned in the Bible. Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
What kind of driver doesn't have a license? A screwdriver.
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn't find any.
Why did the pilgrim's pant's fall down? He was wearing his belt buckle on his hat!
Why do seagulls live by the sea?? If they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels!
What happened to the goose when he got cold? He got people bumps
When life gives you melons....you know you're dyslexic
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
Olivia :)
hee hee loveee.
ReplyDeleteYou used my bagel joke!! hahahahaha I <3 u!
ReplyDelete